Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Continue: 3:35 pm at library now: started banning suddenly and very loudly here on me checking out Cloud upload resume on Monster.com and drilling extremely loud outside started really bad headache started, heart pain, cant breath, the head and the heart feel like in a spasm b fake typo
I would never be able to be a soldier in the Army, i would never be able to shoot, i couldnt possibly raise my hand with a gun to shoot another human being. But I love military, especially US, honestly do, with such admiration. I cant do jobs that have age limit and needs US citizenship obviously, id be a chaplain, but it too has age limit, many jobs id do for the Army or FBI or Coast Guard have age limits, citizenship requirements and the health requirements. I would never be able to do any job that i would need to hurt anyone, i always felt like that, doctor, nurse too, even though all my life especially here people told me (be -fake typo ) that i should be a nurse because of how caring i am. I said i wouldnt be able to even put a needle through someone, i always felt other people pain very close to my heart, it always hurt me, literally hurt my heart when I saw someone being hurt or in pain, i done things to prevent ppl from being hurt and helped them with getting better to stop the pain, since a little girl i was always like that, didnt want to catch butterflies when i was given a catcher as present, felt very sorry for butterflies, could never step on an ant or kill even any bug, i even feel sorry to throw any uneaten good fruits because i think of them growing and all that going to waste, i always looked at life and all living like that. Thats why it felt so unfair what these people (pol - fake typo, informant made two coughs) do to me and how dishonestly they have tried to potray me to be violent and my son to be violent , i have never hurt a bug in my life, neither did my son ( b fake typo on mentioning my son) and what they are putting me through day after day to suit their fradulous agenda. PS. I was prevented from falling asleep at night, tortured all morning, have excruciating headache on the right side that doesnt go away with painkillers, have heart pain, had stomach pain at night, chills. Continued torturing knowing how gravely ill they already made me feel, become more cruel and more violent when I write about them being aggresive and cruel so they bring that up. And so in order to potray me as someone violent and for me to have an angry or irritated look in my face, law enforcement every day and night for almost 4 years have and they havent stopped and continue - have tortured me causing inhumane suffering, abused me physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually harassed me and sexually abused me and sexually assaulted me, physically assaulted me, sleep deprived, shook my head to cause brain damage, gave physical injury to my head by hitting me violently to my head with a door causing concussion,too many physical assaults to describe, including burning with extremely hot coffee, saffocating with gas, freezing, trying to make me angry by making informants be violent towards me on the street and wherever I am by hitting me and walking aggresively towards me on and on and 24/7 make constant effort to make me angry by insulting and irritating and sexually harassing and demeaning on my phone with the use of bonet, sabotaging me getting better, eating better, isolating me, lying about me, interfering with all I do to make my life better and my health better, that is now because of what they have done is in a grave condition.